Have a general question about employment law? Want to share a story? I welcome all comments and questions. I can't give legal advice here about specific situations but will be glad to discuss general issues and try to point you in the right direction. If you need legal advice, contact an employment lawyer in your state. Remember, anything you post here will be seen publicly, and I will comment publicly on it. It will not be confidential. Govern yourself accordingly. If you want to communicate with me confidentially as Donna Ballman, Florida lawyer rather than as Donna Ballman, blogger, my firm's website is here.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

I Reported Harassment and Now HR Wants to Meet With Me. What Do I Do?

            I know it seems scary to report sexual, racial, or other harassment to human resources. It’s even scarier when they call and tell you they’ve set up a meeting with their lawyer and you. Some employees want to refuse or delay this meeting. But being called into a meeting like this is actually a good sign. It means your employer is doing what they’re supposed to do. (Either that, or you’re being set up to be fired, but let’s stay optimistic).

            The Supreme Court says you must report discriminatory harassment under the company’s published harassment policy and give the company a chance to fix the situation. No excuses accepted, no exceptions made. (In Supreme-land, nobody is ever justifiably afraid of being beaten to a pulp, fired, demoted, or made miserable if they complain).Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's not my rule. You still have to do it.

Once the employer receives a report of discrimination or discriminatory harassment, they are supposed to conduct a reasonable investigation. If the discrimination or harassment has occurred, they must take prompt action to correct the situation. Plus, they’re now on notice that someone in their company has a propensity toward illegal behavior.

            With a little preparation and a little backbone, this meeting may be just what you need to make your work life peaceful again. Here are some do’s and don’ts for that meeting.

            DO
  • Put your complaint in writing if you haven’t already. Make sure you call it a “Formal Complaint of Racial [or Sexual/Age-Based/National Origin, etc.] Harassment [or Discrimination].” That way they can't claim later you only reported general harassment or bullying.
  • Make notes to take with you. Write down everything that was said or done where you were singled out for harassment or different treatment due to your race, age, sex, national origin, pregnancy, color, genetic information, religion or other protected status.
  •  If any comments were made about your protected status, write those down too.
  • Were you denied a raise, paid less, denied a promotion, or disciplined when others in a different category (different race, different sex, younger, non-disabled, etc.) were treated better? Write it down.
  • Try to recall dates, who made the statement or singled you out, witnesses, and as much detail as you can provide. If you don’t recall an exact date, it’s okay to write down “around May” or “last Spring.” Do the best you can. Write it all down so you remember.
  • Write down names of everyone in your same category (same race, same sex, etc.) who was also treated badly.
  • Write down names of everyone in a different category from you who was treated better.
  • If you have written proof – emails, memos, photos, recordings (not illegal tape recordings of conversations though), or other documents, gather them to bring to the meeting. Be organized. You’ll be more believable and you’ll look professional.
  •  Take good notes of the questions asked and the answers you gave.
  • If you have an attorney already, let them know about the meeting. While they may not be allowed to attend, they might ask if they can. At the very least, they might give you some tips on what to say and what to expect. They may have their own do’s and don’ts they want to go over with you. If you're represented, the company attorney can't meet with you without your lawyer's permission.
  •  If you’re a member of a union, tell your union representative. They’ll probably want to be with you.
  •  Stick to your guns. If they try to get you to change your story, say it wasn’t due to race/age/sex, etc. but something else, don’t cave.
  • Ask if you can see the investigative report once it’s complete.
  • If you remember something after the meeting, think you didn’t have an opportunity to present everything, or want to clarify something, do write a memorandum to the people who attended the meeting laying out the details you want to add, so you have proof.

            DON’T

  • Don’t tell your coworkers about your complaint or start bad-mouthing anyone. Your complaint is supposed to be confidential. The employer might discipline or fire you for violating confidentiality.
  • Don’t talk about unfair treatment, general harassment, personality conflicts or bullying. Those aren’t illegal. Make sure to focus on your complaint.
  • Don’t use illegal recordings. If you recorded a conversation with your harasser and the harasser didn’t know about it, in some states you may have committed a crime.
  • Don’t insist on having an attorney present, to the extent you refuse to attend the meeting. Most companies won’t allow you to bring an attorney with you to an internal investigation. If you refuse to cooperate, they’ll have a nice defense to your claim and they might say you were insubordinate.
  • Don’t concede that the reason the person you’re complaining about did something is they dislike everyone. If you are asked why the discriminating person did something to you, the answer is almost always, “Because of my race/age/sex, etc.” or “To retaliate against me for reporting discrimination.” If you say it’s because they’re a bully, you’re giving the legal department ammunition to say the person is an “equal opportunity harasser” who is mean to everyone.
  • Don’t be evasive or try to play word games. You’ll look like a liar.
  • Don’t ask for severance. They’ll claim you quit. If they ask what you want, say you want to work in a place that is free of discrimination/sexual harassment/racial harassment, etc. Don’t quit. If they fire you, contact a lawyer.
  • Don’t demand the harasser be fired. They don’t have to discipline this person in any particular way. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you make them say that they have nowhere to put you in light of your demands.
  •  Don’t yell, be insubordinate, be rude, or act unprofessionally. You’ll just give them a legitimate reason to fire you.
  • Don’t refuse to come back to work. You have to work, or they’ll say you abandoned your position.
  • Don’t forget that HR and the corporate attorney are there to protect your employer, not you. You shouldn’t say or do that could get you disciplined or fired.
  • Don’t give the company your only copy of anything. Make sure you have copies of your notes, evidence, witness lists, etc.
  • Don’t freak out when they start interviewing coworkers. They’re supposed to do that. They have to investigate what you’re saying. That means the harasser will probably find out about your complaint.
  • Don’t get upset if they say they won’t give you a copy of the investigative report or let you know their conclusions. Some employers will, some won’t. If you end up having to sue, EEOC and your lawyer will be able to get the report.
  • Don’t be surprised if they say they conclude there was no discrimination or illegal harassment. Very few HR people or lawyers will admit anything in writing. Even if the official report says it didn’t happen, the harasser might have been warned or disciplined in some way.
Once the interview is done, you need to be patient. If you encounter more discrimination/discriminatory harassment, or if you are retaliated against for complaining, report it in writing to HR.

Most employers take discrimination complaints seriously and try to do the right thing. If you go into your meeting prepared, have your proof and witness lists organized, act professionally, and don’t have unreasonable expectations, this is your best opportunity to get the company to assure you have a workplace free of discrimination and discriminatory harassment.

If your employer doesn’t correct the situation and it continues, or if you are retaliated against by a demotion, termination, cut in pay/hours, or something that affects you in the wallet, it’s time to talk to an employment attorney in your state. The work you did to prepare for your meeting won't have been wasted. You'll be ready for your meeting with the lawyer. Hopefully you'll have enough ammunition to convince the attorney that they can sue your employer's socks off.

76 comments:

  1. This is quite possibly the best advice on thsi topic I've read. I quoted you over BNET

    Boy, would things change if everyone followed your advice.

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  2. I'm so glad you found it helpful! I appreciate your quoting me. Maybe, if we spread the word about people's rights and responsibilities, more people will preserve their right to sue if the employer doesn't address the situation promptly and effectively.

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    1. My supervisor told me too go home in the morning and his excuse was I wasn't working this was done 41 mins from the morning start and he grabbed the broom off my hand and yelled at me too go home I stood my ground he and I have had problems I never been written up by him he just ordered me home and he threaten me if I didn't he knock me out I called the cops on him he told the police I wasn't working and him telling me to go home without a witness or hr around and my boss the owner said there where no threats made even though he was there telling the police officer when he arrived tell me I don't have a case..lol

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    2. The owner of the company wasn't there when I had the occurrence with my employer and yet the police never looked at the video surveillance too justify his lies on the police report on what happen the owner proved retaliation when I ask for the video too be looked at I got a big fat no too do assessment of what happen in workplace violence and the police officer not looking at the video tells you he was smooth talked and fooled

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    3. My daughter was harassed at work by some coworker filed a report but the flipped it on her since it was them against her she was fired .never was written up or anything. Always was at work early. She was there 1and a half years. It was mainly new coworkers

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    4. My husban is suffering harassment at work at this moment. We are so afraid he can loose his job, cause the supervisor is written him up for minimal things. Of course looking for excuses. They are a few witness, but afraid to support my husband. My husban is writing a "bible of things" that happend every day with this supervisor. Please pray for us.

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    5. Hi there I'm facing the same situation with my husband. You posted this last June did anything ever become of this?
      Thanks!

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  3. I have seen a lot of information on the web for employers who must deal with disgruntled employees and how to avoid litigation. Likewise, there is plenty of advice on how to document discrimination and retaliation. I have not found anything about how an employer should proceed if it learns, beyond any doubt, that a good employee was fired for an illegal reason.
    Once a lawsuit starts, is a fair settlement beyond reach? Are apologies and reinstatement routinely forbidden by the insurance company covering the employer's legal expenses?

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  4. There's absolutely nothing that stops an employer from offering reinstatement with back pay and an apology to settle. I almost never see this happen. I think lots more cases could settle with an apology but employers don't like to do it.

    If the employee wins, the court can order reinstatement and back pay, but can't order an apology. It's one of those things an employee can only get in a settlement.

    The sad truth is that employers, or maybe their lawyers, never like to admit they were wrong. They dig in their heels and stick with their position even if they learn they made a mistake.

    Why? I don't know. It's one of those things I've wondered about for 25 years, since I got into this area of practice.

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    1. I was being harassed in my work... and one of my co workers (our expediter) told me that the HR said that if we will not settle things with the harasser both of us will get fired I know its not fair but can the employer do does things???

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    2. Hi LJN. It probably depends. If you reported illegal harassment then they can't fire you for reporting it, but if it's general harassment then they can fire you both if you don't work it out because general harassment isn't illegal. You might want to talk to an employment lawyer in your state about this.

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    3. It is illegal for my manager and HR to force me to meet with them? My manager asked to speak with me with HR present, I declined because I had a prior incident with them that made me feel uncomfortable. My manager stated that if I didn't meet with him and HR then I had to leave work early. I told him that without proper representation I would not speak because I didn't want to incriminate myself. He said in quote "You are just an employee you dont have that right." Now I feel more uncomfortable going to work.

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    4. I hope you have legal representation. He is intimidating you. If it's after you having reported, it's called retaliation.

      Keep records of all instances of retaliation. Have a lawyer write a letter on what they are doing. There's no time limit as to reporting retaliation to the EEOC. The EEOC will sue for you; you won't have to deal with the expense of the legal action.

      Employers have insurance that covers your case. They don't pay from their own pocket. The insurance does. Be sure that you don't get into "pity" for the employer.

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    5. hello I read your blog I just need too ask you a question my supervisor ordered me home I stood my ground and he insulted me and threaten too knock me out if I didn't leave work I called the police the owner of the company came into the picture told the police that there were no threats made to the office and he just blaintly lied he wasn't even there to say no threats where made I have that on a police report and we have cameras showing he wasn't there at the moment it happen when the police came the owner told me too take the day off and come tomorrow back too work in one week exactly I quited cause the owner was upset that I called the police and wanted to disguised my dismissal he was yelling at me and I kept saying aren't we going to resolve this matter and he started yelling its getting resolved now.. and that is when I quited he didn't wana have it written down what happen he was on the supervisr side tell me is it discrimination aswell my supervisor is racist attitude and im white European

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    6. I just want you all to know that I have experienced Sexual Harassment in the Australian workplace in Sydney, not once, but twice. On each occassion, I found HR hostile. They did not support me as an employee but the manager who performed the illegal behaviour. In the first instance, I was told that I could then not obtain a reference from the manager concerned, as I had approached HR about their behaviour. This harmed my future employment, making it difficult to secure another position (I was a Consultant at the time). The second time, was in a full time job with a top company. HR's reaction was to send me home, send the manager home and then let him back and then not let me back and call me a liar. I have not been able to secure work since and it has been a year and a half. I acted out of doing the right thing as someone who cares about their colleagues - I wanted to make HR realise that they had someone behaving inappropriately at work, and I wanted them to understand that they had a risk in their environment. It's really damaged my career, my life. I recommend that you DO NOT under any cirucumstances make a complaint, rather resign and get the hell out of there. Trust me, you never want this on your HR record. You will be viewed as a trouble maker, no matter what. Of course, if you want to pay legal fees by getting a legal representative, by all means go for it, but make sure you have a reference, and whatever, never accept to keep the situation confidential because what that means is when you go for a job, you can't talk about why you left the company. Leaving a job makes you look like a job hopper. Then if the person who you reported to is still in the company after you resigned and was your direct manager, they are going to HATE YOU and never give you a good reference and slander you as much as possible. I recently found out that there had been more complains from my previous work place about this person, he has been forced out. I found out that HR was still giving out his email address for referencing for me -- despite his having left the company. I couldn't help it that the HR director had been friends with the manager who asked me for sex in my performance review for 16 years. They never support someone doing this, so don't do it. My career is ruined from doing the right thing, just RESIGN and get the hell out of there.

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  5. As a landlord, I've avoided most litigation through open communication with tenants and compromise. As a parent, I got a fair settlement for my injured child by not being greedy on his behalf. I never hired lawyers and never regretted it.
    As a an employee with several years of stellar reviews and no disciplinary action, I reported a dangerous practice to my medical director and was abruptly terminated. The CEO refused to meet with me, so I sued. Later, when I was able to prove that the reasons for my termination were false, the CEO said they weren't allowed to re-hire me because of the lawsuit. Her claim is that the insurance company will drop their coverage if I come back. Does that sound plausible to you?
    I won a defamation suit against the VP and now there is going to be a second jury trial on the whistleblowing charges. A lot of previously suppressed evidence will be made public. This seems like such a train wreck, and their stubborness just doesn't make sense. I've come to accept that I won't get an apology, but after four years, I still don't get it.

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    1. Wow! Whoop for you! You've gotten lot of victories!

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  6. Seems unlikely to me, but these are all things you should be discussing with your attorney. Ultimately the court can probably order reinstatement.

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  8. Hello. My name is Tim. I work a major drink company in the US and I was in an accident at work last year (March 2011) and injured my shoulder. 2 surgeries later I have a permanent restriction of no overhead work now due to my disabled shoulder; it will never be the same. Now I sit around the office, like a secretary, and cut shelf tags (They like to call it “arts and crafts time with Mrs. Timmy). I have been experiencing harassment about this issue since around (April 2011). People call me a “bitch”, Mrs. Timmy, cripple, and other embarrassing names DAILY. This takes place in front of everyone, including supervisors, who also take part in it. In July we had sexual harassment training, but nothing was touched on about other harassment, for example the disabled. While HR was in town for the meeting, someone called me Mrs. Timmy, and HR laughed and said after the meeting they couldn’t call me that anymore. But it still happened. Recently, they requested I go back out on a truck and carry a ladder with me to be able to step up and reach cases without reaching overhead. This seems like a liability and hazard given the fact if it happens to be raining or snowing. On top of that, people are having a field day with me having to carry around a ladder. They say they are going to get me a “retard” helmet. And they made a poster with a handicap kid wearing a helmet, licking a window. It also had a picture of Cartman from South Park on it when he pretended to be retarded, wearing a helmet and a stupid face, with writing saying durrrrr. And finally it has a short bus on it, with our logo, turned upside down because I crashed the truck in my accident. It also had a banner on it saying DON’T FALL OFF YOUR LADDER. This was printed out and placed in all of the employees mailboxes, and hung on the wall. In addition, my direct supervisor printed out a sheet of helmets, he google searched for “helmets for disabled children”, the main one a pink helmet with a princess on it, but also a fire helmet, and other. He told me I could pick out my own. I informed HR I was still getting harassed, so they called the dm’s (supervisors) who took down the papers, but also had an extreme attitude and disgust towards me, and also barely spoke to me. No one was disciplined, and to my knowledge none of non-management employees were even spoken to. This hostile environment at work has changed me. My wife notices it, my family and friends do as well. I am depressed, scared to go to work, dealing with anxiety, timid, and feel useless. It’s bad enough I have to change my life to accommodate this disability at home, not being able to do a lot of things a husband should do, but I have had to deal with this for over a year. I can’t take it anymore, and decided to reach out. If it continues, should I contact HR again, even those this was the second time I have, and it doesn’t seem to be helping? I TRY to save face and laugh it off while they do this, but I have been serious and have told them it’s not my fault. I have been prescribed Xanex for a while now because I told the doc I was anxious and couldn’t sleep. I didn’t tell him it was because I was terrified to go to work. Any advice is tremendously appreciated. I am a 26yo male if this helps.

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    1. I am indignant at what is happening to you. Get the complaints as described above on writing in the company's grievance form. and, get a lawyer. You have all kinds of proof there. Take pictures of the things they do, as they happen. Best to you! You can win this case, and find another job!

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    2. You're a very kind hearted man. Get evidence of all the harrassment by taking pictures, saving any written derogatory comments, keep a journal of every date, time, etc. Skip the HR because you've already spoken to them about it, also if you stated your case in writing, make a copy of it. If not, file a greivance again and go to an employment attorney in your state. Check onlline to look at profiles of attorneys, check with the state licensing dept to make sure the attorney you're dealing with has no complaints against him or her. Talk to some family members or friends who may know a lawyer so that you can get a referral from that attorney, call and find out how much each one charges - see if you can get a few free consultations and also file a complaint with the EEOC (www.eeoc.gov). Don't let those fools get away with treating you like that. Fight back!!

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  9. Hi twr. It sounds like it might be time to talk to an employment lawyer in your state. You might have to take the next step (probably EEOC) if HR won't do anything.

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    1. Hi Donna, I am unemployed, I want to know whether I can get 1/2 money back from the contract and what and where I am wrong? Why I cannot come back to the company? the company and people names are hidden.

      At the beginning of this year, I had a contract job as Project Manager and SharePoint consultant at a company. The contract costs $25,000. At the same time, a guy joined my team. He was not a SharePoint expert certified; or he did not have experience working with it. One day my boss assigned a job of building a workflow. After I finished, I told everyone it was done for testing. This guy did not follow the protocol; the way he tested was wrong. I warned him not to test like it. Later he sent me a text message to my cell phone saying "I am learning SharePoint. You watch me out!". I did not report it to my boss. Then I re-edited a workflow and set up strict rules. After finishing, I let him test again. I told him not to do the way he did before. He again did not listen to me. I felt awkward. Now I reported to my boss. Later on, I received a text message from him. I did not know what program he used to send me those text message. But in the text message, his email, name and phone number were associated in the message. The 2nd one is "J always listens to me. I am an official employee, you are a contractor. See me how to become a permanent employee.". Now I got scared. I reported to my boss, HR, police and my criminal lawyer and my family. When I met with HR, they confirmed that this guy disrespected my work. At work, I did not do anything wrong. I respected people's work. I was friendly. At the meeting with HR, this guy denied what he did. After the meeting, I no more received a text message.

      However, later on, my boss asked me whether I still receive a text message? Of course, No!.

      Unfortunately, the company let me go unfairly by saying they changed their direction of using outsources.

      My question is what and where I am wrong?

      Couple months later, I went to a IT group. I met a person who I did not know very well. While chatting, I mentioned that I used to work at this company. That person told me about that guy that he faked emails representing managers and employees. At that time I did not care. But I felt sad and emailed my former boss to ask why he let me go but still keep that guy in the mean while this guy did such a bad thing.

      Of course, my former boss did not answer. Later I received an email from the company's lawyer that they need my help in investigating about that guy. I could not help because I was not there. Everything I heard from a stranger that I did not want to care. I told my lawyer so that I do not have to be contacted.

      Later, I knew that this guy was fired. Then the company reopened the position that I left. However, they do not want me to come back?

      Why I cannot come back since I have not done anything wrong?

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  10. My wife works for a large company as a CSR, and she has just gotten suspended for reporting that another employee has been doing illegal drugs. The company stated that she was being suspened because they were investigating to see if this was retaliation on her part due to her attendance issues she has had due to injuries sustained from a vehicle accident 2 years ago and she had to miss work due to a back injury. She has had her doctor write a statement that says she has these issues and might need to miss work due to this. The HR department denied the statement and has now been harrasing her when she is in pain. The employee who she made the statement about is not a supervisor nor has any authority at the company and is also a CSR. Is the supension on the employers part considered retalition as their reasons behind the suspension are unfounded.

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    1. Hi Mike. It sounds like she might have ADA or FMLA claims. Unfortunately, reporting a coworker's illegal activity is usually not protected whistleblowing. You might check with an employment lawyer in your state for some advice.

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  11. if i have a discriminate issue with my employer, do i first need to report it to my employer and union to exhaust administrative remedies before filing with EEOC?

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  12. I've been a victim of retaliation,threatened violently by coworkers,labeled,made fun of by supervisors then fired for filling with eeoc.I have all the proof in writting as well as dates and times of action. Almost every employee refuted my claim to protect their job ,some even got raises after denying my claims. Now my eeoc investagator says he has made a mistake on my case and now he has to give the respondent more time to respond.we have already opened this case and found reasonable evidence ,now eeoc worker has to start all over from the beginning due to a error he says he made. I do not see the error and I have not received any info. On this error . Wat is ur take

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    1. Sorry for what you are going through. I believe it will be wise to hire an employment lawyer, as well.

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  13. Hello i was wrongfully terminated with wild accusations by new management on his first day of working. The assistant manager had said i was getting a verbal warning that the gm had agreed. The next day on my day off i was let go. It took Hr 2 weeks to even answer my calls or emails very rudely. Finally once they contacted me they said they were conducting an investigation this was a month ago. I have yet to hear from them agian leaving all sorts of messages not bombarding but at least one weekly. Please help can eeoc do anything i understand they only seek discriminating cases but i do not know who else to turn too

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    1. Hi Cindy. An answer to your question will be up on October 11.

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  15. I need some help here,i work for a security company and have been in the same building for 10 years, a position opened up and i applied for it soon after the director of security said they r looking into it and a few days later a guy i trained who is younfer than i am got hired. After that another position became available i applied for it and was told they r looking into in and almost everyday the director came to me n said they r looking into it also hr never got my resume now mind u this is the second time he told me hr never got my resume. I never recieved an email or call for this position, they kept saying.hr dropped the ball on this i was told twice to apply to the positoon n.both times hr messed up. There r also 2 other guys in the same race class as i am that got fired or move for complaining and one of the guys filed a dis act against the director. Now they hired someone for the position i applied for that have no experience n i have to.train him. Is.there something i can do?

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    1. Hi Roy. An answer to your question will be up on October 18.

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  17. I recently was reprimanded as well as demoted from my position following accusations from another colleague. I was told they (HR) have the proof. This was over text messages which we have been communicating through for work and the benefit of each other's job. When I addressed an issue with him and his team getting to work more OT than mine, he replied with a blasphemous filled text that was certainly out of character. His rant went on to say I need to talk about this issue with my supervisor and leave him out of it. He continues with how he's not worried about the OT, all he is worried about is doing his job. He assures me he will be addressing this with HR and then he finishes with we are done texting. After analyzing the text trying to make sense of his hostility, it finally hit me that his text was complete set-up to make him look good and undermine my 12yr excellent track record. HR's stance was that I was harassing him by bringing it into the workplace when in fact the text was not during his or my shift and was only shared with my supervisor in which he took it to the next level because of the tone that he had in his text message. However, my colleague had reached the HR department and initiated an investigation that obviously favored his accusations. How do I get HR to show proof of anything or is it possible to make them see my side of this? How much should I fight before giving up? I don't want to jeopardize my job but my side of the story was not seen by HR but yet determined to be against me.....HELP!

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  18. I need your help? Can you please tell me what I should do? I got fired unfairly at a company. I got 18-month contract from the company A in order to work at its client company B. On the last day, a guy from the company A told me their client wants to terminate my contract. Reason: "some emails are sent to my supervisor. In emails, there are only praises of me. My name was associated with. My supervisor sent to HR, and HR called those people, and they refused to send those emails." I did not do it or I was not aware of any emails.

    When I go home on the day that I got fired, I got a report from the Facebook. It showed someone hacked my account and stalked me by using that company's IP address. Later, I received a text message of attachments. The attachments showed the name of the girl at work and that she is the one behind the scene because she is jealous.

    I email my supervisor at Company B about this, but they ignore my case.

    Please tell me what I should do?

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  19. I need your help? Can you please tell me what I should do? I got fired unfairly at a company. I got 18-month contract from the company A in order to work at its client company B. On the last day, a guy from the company A told me their client wants to terminate my contract. Reason: "some emails are sent to my supervisor. In emails, there are only praises of me. My name was associated with. My supervisor sent to HR, and HR called those people, and they refused to send those emails." I did not do it or I was not aware of any emails.

    When I go home on the day that I got fired, I got a report from the Facebook. It showed someone hacked my account and stalked me by using that company's IP address. Later, I received a text message of attachments. The attachments showed the name of the girl at work and that she is the one behind the scene because she is jealous.

    I email my supervisor at Company B about this, but they ignore my case.

    Please tell me what I should do?

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  20. I have been called into the office today without my supervisor.

    Background is that I currently have a small child that I nurse. I have to pump three to four times per day while at work. I have been working late to make up the time that I am missing through the work day because of pumping, according to federal and state laws this is totally legal. My management knows this.

    The company that I work for is awesome, I have been here forever and love my job. The current boss that we have has been firing people left and right though. They find little things and nag them until they find other jobs or get fired.

    I got called down today to say that I have been coming into work late, abusing my breaks and staying too long at lunchs. This was done by the middle manager, not my direct supervisor and not by our department head. I was told that I had to fix the problem, an example was check in at the office when I get to work, check in when I go to the bathroom and when I get back, check in before break and when it was over and so on.

    I have a meeting scheduled with my direct supervisor and this manager that I met with today to talk about the solutions next Monday.

    I know my rights as a nursing mother. How can I go into this meeting prepared and ready to stand my ground. I really wanted to record this conversaton because this manager and my direct supervisor have both been know for lying and getting people fired and then the supervisor just goes along with it instead of standing up for the employees.

    I don't want to be on a losing end of this. I have documented everything that came out of the first meeting with this manager and am going to do the same thing next Monday. I just wanted to make sure that my bases are covered and I want to make sure that I don't forget anything and the words don't get twisted. Is this a good idea? Should I put the recorder out for them to see? Should I record and only devulge if needed? I live in VA so only one consent applies in the situation.

    Thanks in advance!

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  22. Thank you for this article, it is very informative. I was wondering what the difference is when a contract employer for a company. I work minimal hours weekly at a private company. I experienced verbal sexual harassment by a coworker. I reported it to the director and was fired via email a few days later. Then a few hours later I was re-hired. They realized I could sue them apparently. They are now limiting my freedom to move around the company without someone with me. They are not firing the offender. I don't know if I have any claims against them as a contract worker (1099 mis.) but am infuriated by how unprofessionally I was treated. I asked for a copy of their sexual harassment policy and was told I am not entitled to it since just an outside vendor. I currently am back working my shifts, although they clearly do not want me there and only un-fired me to prevent a lawsuit.

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  23. Hey donna I have a friend in a messy situation and could really use your help. If she was let go after one week of being there, and they said she wasnt learning quick enough. Which there is nothing wrong with that. But the next day they get to texting each other and the employer started getting personal and stating that she needs to go get her medication and head checked out. She is taking medication but would have never mentioned that to them if she knew it would be thrown back in her face and belittle her. Also started getting into saying that her daddy cant keep a job for her. Please help with what she can do. The business also operates illegally in many different way.

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  24. What if HR wants to speak with me on the phone . How can I assure that this is not a set up as they did to me in the store for harassment. I also have no representation to any meetings so far since the harassment. I was then suspended after reporting the violation and the illegal behavior. Now HR director after speaking with my HR manager of my region wants to get involve .

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  25. Hi,

    I have an active claim against my past employer that the EEOC is presently investigating. This has been going on for almost 4 years. They are just now calling witnesses and reading through documents. Is there any reason that you know of that the EEOC would not be sending me and the company to mediation? It seems odd to be interviewing witnesses about harassment that took place over four years ago. Advice?

    Thanks!

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  26. I have an active claim that the EEOC is not investigating against my former employer. The claim was timely field four years ago. Why would the EEOC never recommend mediation to me and the employer? They are just now examining my claim, the employer's answer and my rebuttal and asking me for witnesses names and phone numbers. It seems odd to be calling people about harassment that took place over 4 years ago. Any suggestions?

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  27. My problem is that I work in HR for a Fortune 500 that does HR planning, supervision and consulting. I have always had stellar performance evaluations and have risen through the corporate ranks quickly: more importantly I was promoted with substantial pay raise several months ago.

    We hired a new clerk, a women in her 40s, who became very upset when she discovered that I was in an interracial relationship with the son of one of her good friends.

    She saw a picture on my bookcase, put it together and-this was before the promotion-immediately refused to answer a simple question, if she asked me about a procedure or task she refused to listen or write down my answers and complained bitterly to anybody who would listen that I "refused to help them and was being hateful to them (she and another clerk) and was out to get them":

    when she was told I was promoted over them as soon as top brass left the office she turned to me and said "you are not my boss and never will be you wait and see":

    Last Friday I was demoted because she and this other clerk, a woman I had never had an issue with before and would have called a friend, kept a 'log" of all my alleged misdeeds and lying through their teeth turned it into my boss.

    I have more tenure than both of these women combined and prior to these two ganging up on me was considered their key employee.

    After the demotion meeting the older of the two stood over me at my desk and said "I happen to know that upstairs they are watching your every move building a file to fire you" and since I cannot prove they are lying without a tape recorder I' at all total loss.

    I loved my job, intended to spend my entire career with this company if possible moving up in the corporate ranks.

    Any advice? Should I violate corporate policy and obtain audio evidence? Just look for another job?

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  28. Donna please help. I got into a sexual relationship at work I realized it was wrong and wanted to stay with my husband so I ended with the other. Now I am being harassed at work about he works there to managers will come to me and say so I hear you like mantince men. The other guy not my husband will threaten my husband smack things out my hand and make lies up my husband cant eat lunch with me due to the lies the other guys is telling my managers I feel isolated and taken advantage of at work is there anything I can do beside find a new job I cant just leave I have bills

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  29. One day our outgoing phone systems were down for the day and another employee asked if I could find him the phone number to transfer to a division in another state. I texted this person the information on my personal cell phone. A few days later I started getting text messages saying "I think Im in love" and I have been getting phone calls in the middle of the night, which I do not answer. This went on for over a week until I finally brought my cell phone with records to HR. We figured out who was calling and it was the guy who asked me for the transfer information. HR called him into their office and he denied it. How can you deny something that has a digital stamp on my cell phone? He used his own number and I kept record of each call and text. HR didnt do anything except alledgely give him a warning. Shouldnt this be frounds for him being fired? Texing and using a phone for unwanted advances and harassment in the middle of the night is illegal. I am actually scared this guy might be a psycho and he is still working with us. Did HR do the right thing or are they supposed to fire him?

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  31. At the beginning of this year, I had a contract job as Project Manager and SharePoint consultant at a company. The contract costs $25,000. At the same time, a guy joined my team. He was not a SharePoint expert certified; or he did not have experience working with it. One day my boss assigned a job of building a workflow. After I finished, I told everyone it was done for testing. This guy did not follow the protocol; the way he tested was wrong. I warned him not to test like it. Later he sent me a text message to my cell phone saying "I am learning SharePoint. You watch me out!". I did not report it to my boss. Then I re-edited a workflow and set up strict rules. After finishing, I let him test again. I told him not to do the way he did before. He again did not listen to me. I felt awkward. Now I reported to my boss. Later on, I received a text message from him. I did not know what program he used to send me those text message. But in the text message, his email, name and phone number were associated in the message. The 2nd one is "J always listens to me. I am an official employee, you are a contractor. See me how to become a permanent employee.". Now I got scared. I reported to my boss, HR, police and my criminal lawyer and my family. When I met with HR, they confirmed that this guy disrespected my work. At work, I did not do anything wrong. I respected people's work. I was friendly. At the meeting with HR, this guy denied what he did. After the meeting, I no more received a text message.

    However, later on, my boss asked me whether I still receive a text message? Of course, No!.

    Unfortunately, the company let me go unfairly by saying they changed their direction of using outsources.

    My question is what and where I am wrong?

    Couple months later, I went to a IT group. I met a person who I did not know very well. While chatting, I mentioned that I used to work at this company. That person told me about that guy that he faked emails representing managers and employees. At that time I did not care. But I felt sad and emailed my former boss to ask why he let me go but still keep that guy in the mean while this guy did such a bad thing.

    Of course, my former boss did not answer. Later I received an email from the company's lawyer that they need my help in investigating about that guy. I could not help because I was not there. Everything I heard from a stranger that I did not want to care. I told my lawyer so that I do not have to be contacted.

    Later, I knew that this guy was fired. Then the company reopened the position that I left. However, they do not want me to come back?

    Why I cannot come back since I have not done anything wrong?

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  32. Don't forget that HR and the corporate attorney are there to protect your ... chargehr.blogspot.com

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  33. I have made complaints to my DON and Administrator, harassment has continued, how can I quit this hostile environment and still be able to file with EEOC

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  34. I've been harassed by my employer this year (my 9th year of employment), and having had enough of my employer's fabrications and lack of equity amongst the staff, I wrote a letter of complaint to the superintendent of schools. After several emails and essential a “run around,” I had a meeting with an HR rep, almost one month to the date following my initial complaint, and only after I sent 3 emails requesting responses. The final outcome—I’m being asked to make a decision: file a formal grievance or consider a buy-out of my contract. The HR representative asked that I make a life-changing decision and respond within 2 (after they took a month!) My concern is that I am being asked to consider a buy-out of my contract without having any terms to review in advance. My other concern is that if I decide to file a formal grievance my employer will terminate me based an ambiguous and unclarified directive I was “forced” to sign. Suggestions, please?

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  35. If someone calls into to work sick (3rd time in 9.5 years) and the manager doesn't believe you and says "uh huh, really?" and later texts you to bring a doctor note. The employee goes to the doctor for their stomach ache, gets a note with a return to work date the following day but later gets called into work by the manager because they're the "on call" person and stated they have to go to work, despite a doctor's note with a release date the next day, is that right? Can they do this?

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  36. I need help. I work at a warehouse that has lots of employees on drugs. But they will not fire them because they are afraid the work will not get done. That to me is a safety issue. Please any idea for me.

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    1. You must report it to your supervisor and write your HR department, let the HR know you do not feel safe working around people who are on drugs, you should not have to quit your job. After you tell HR go file with the EEOC ,, It is a Hostile Work Place.. Only if it is a drug free work place.

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  37. Need some professional and educational advice in regards to my situation please. I work at an LTACH hospital. I am a seasoned CNA, Tele Tech. and Unit Secretary. I have recently encountered a fellow employee whom is a Resp. Tech. who has been hostile towards me, been threatening towards me and making antagonizing gestures when in the vicinity of me at work. I did go to my supervisor and then to HR and the DON and the Administrator with a witness and proof. They came back to me counseling me stating they had also counseled the employee i claimed harassed me. The second time this happened was the worst for me to deal with. I followed through the same procedure and this time I was told the investigation held no merit to my claim and they could do nothing. I refused to work with this person and asked if they could please schedule us apart. HR and the DON agreed. Several weeks later this person was working with my so I went to the supervisor on that particular shift and asked why he was working with me. She pulled up an email from the Assistant Administrator stating that we both had to work together professionally. If i hadn't gone to the supervisor and asked that shift i would have had no idea this was final. After all I've endured with this person, and the up and down stress of thinking i was safe from his harassment to finding out he was going to be working around me again, I am even more stressed and on edge at work feeling as if he will do this again. What now can i do? I don't want to quit, I've been with this place for 4 years now. I feel as if I can't go to my administrative staff if something else happens and over this change. Please Help!

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  38. ??? My boss wrote me up and asked that I be transferred to a different part of the compainy because I have 4 UNEXCUSED days witch have been spred out at different time since I've worked there. I've been there.. He has two of his family members on my crew one who has miss 6 to 7 days UNEXCUSED and has not been wrote up or asked to be transferred the other who has broke safety rules over and over and has not be wrote up either... There are a total of 5 of us on our crew 3 of witch are all relatied and 2 of us who aren't is this a equal rights law case where he is not treating us equal by letting his family members by with things he won't allow me

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  39. We were in a meeting and a co-worker(of the same race/sex) started getting aggressive toward me. I told my manager that I was uncomfortable, he sat and did nothing. She got louder, I again told my manager that I was feeling intimidated. He still sat and did nothing. She got up, slammed her hands on the table, got in my face and pointed her finger in my face and yelled again. I, for the third time looked at my manager and told him I was feeling extremely intimidated and threatened. He still did nothing. After all was said and done, I have tried to file a formal complaint with HR. They have asked for details, which I have provided. They have yet to meet with the witnesses. HR is trying to avoid filing a formal complaint against the coworker. She was even told not to worry about anything and she will be protected. How can this be?!?! Do I have any options?

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  40. How do i write a complaint to hr.? What i mean is where do i go and send a written complaint

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    1. Hi CJ. Email them using both a read and delivery receipt, or write it up and hand deliver to them, keeping a copy for yourself and noting the name of the person you delivered it to and time/date. Or there may be information in your handbook on how to contact them. Good luck!

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  41. A woman with whom I had a close working relationship and who would call me all day every day suddenly became controlling and eventually began to use our supervisor as a tool for her personal agenda against me. He was and still is fearful of her because she is a woman and she takes full advantage of it to use him against me. She has pushed her work load off on me and has manipulated him as well as other coworkers who want to avoid trouble, to alienate me. My entire work experience has been greatly affected. She has been married for 25 years and eventually made some minor advances toward me to which I did not respond. My reward for not responding was to be called gay relentlessly. She meddled in my career and reminded my superiors about my job description when they gave me duties that were above and beyond my job description because they felt I was capable. The affect was to paint me as a complainer. I finally distanced myself from her so she began the campaign to convince my coworkers to alienate me which lasted until she finally filed a false grievance against me for harassment which was the epitome of irony. Initially my superiors saw through it all and privately suggested that I go to HR to defend myself and file my own grievance. They told me that she would most likely lose her job which I did not want to happen. I just wanted peace. Three or four days later management acted as if I was nothing but a nuisance and told me I should drop the whole thing and then I was written up with false accusations of insubordination by my supervisor who at this point was completely under her control. They had completely changed their stance most likely due to pressure from the very top to bury the whole issue. Fortunately I am still employed as I look for employment elsewhere. It is obvious that any investigation failed to produce any proof of her accusation because she was in fact never harassed; however, I have been continually scrutinized and subjected to subtle mental abuses by my gutless robot supervisor and I continue to be excluded from gatherings for lunch or other informal activities. One on one everyone seems fine with me and always has been but when in a group setting if she is involved then the function is secretive. She has put the whole group in a difficult position, and I have taken every precaution to avoid the possibility of any casual encounter with her as instructed by HR. Management has addressed my distant behavior in my recent evaluation by giving me substandard marks for teamwork when I have in fact been a stellar employee. They stated that I should encourage conversation and laughter among all of my coworkers. Any thoughts? Should I seek recourse at HR to clear my record? I am constantly irritated by this issue.

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  42. hello, \
    i need help.. province supervisor and coworker are boycotting my work and harrasing me. I recently found some emails between them talking about me and how much they wanted to get rid of me but thay havent had a good reason. i know all of this is because of my racial origin because they have made comments and fun of me at job. However i can not prove that but i still have those emails between them.. what can i do?? Thank you!!

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  43. Cwright

    I have been terminated from my job for informing my boss about harassment. An employee purposely hit me with a cart and when I asked him to say excuse me he called me a bitch and began screaming. I immediately found my manager on duty at the time and reported the problem he then informed me he would talk to the employee. 10 minutes late the employee reentered the work space and began knocking over employee property at that time I put my head down and just worked the remainder of my shift. Before I was about to go home this same employee began shouting cursing and pushed a table on me I again notified my manager who decided to have us both in the office during what he called a meeting. My manager began saying that we could both be fired for harassment if this didnt stop. I explained to him that I felt threatened and would like to take this matter up with HR he swiftly denied my request. Soon after leaving the office this same employee physically bumped me. Again I told my manager who then suspended me under no specific terms. The next few days I called my hr department who said they would get back to me and never did. TWo days from the incident my manager calls to say I am terminated for misconduct because the other employee claimed I threatened him. HOw can this be when I expressed that my workplace became hostile on two separate occasions?

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    1. Wow just happened to my daughter basically the same thing

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  44. My job has no phone line whatsoever, only personal cell phones of the supervisor. I was just told yesterday no more cell phones allowed on my person. I have an infant and a teen daughter. I need to be reachable in the event of an emergency. There was no notice and everyone else is on their phones (4 employees total) I am now suddenly not allowed to put one earbud in while doing normal mundane tasks. Again, everyone else can. I am dyslexic and my boss just found out. I am literally seeing my supervisor randomly implementing sudden (minute by minute literally) protocol changes that are inhibiting my performance. Isn;t my work supposed to have a working phone line for the purpose of contacting employees in an emergency?? All of this JUST started... I really feel I am being treated in a way to make me miserable (working) and stressed out so that I leave rather than them letting me go despite my good work ethic and performance, since learning of my disability. Intentionally making it harder for me to input data quickly is the total opposite of helping (I literally just need a note pad&pen to write down the numbers so I do not mix them up and they took that away!) My sitter needs to be able to reach me- doesnt my job need to make that possible?

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  45. I meet with my manager and HR they told me I wouldn't have to worry about my harasser he is no longer employed and the tried to give me a check for 250.00 I declined the check and wouldn't sign their papers I filled a report with EEOC what do I do next?

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  46. What do I do if I went to my HR department about an incident with a coworker and bullying that happened yesterday where she commented loudly to someone next to me about my poor work ethic so I would hear and brought up 2 other incidences that have happened in the past but they told me they don't consider what happened yesterday as harassment and because I never made a complaint about the other 2 incidences nothing can be done about them they are too far in the past (9 months and 3 months). Even though I went with written documentation of the incidences. Also said that other workers have not come to HR to make a complaint however they have complained to our union which I got him to admit in the meeting. They say an investigation will occur but until then all they can do is tell her she needs to stop and if she then does it again she will be disiplined. Meanwhile they are thinking of moving me to a new area when she has been involved in many confrontations, many people have complained to our union about her, and no body but her has a problem with me. What do I do?

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  47. Hi I'm not sure if anyone is still currently on this blog but I'm in a situation where my boss literally took two large meat stamps and stamped myself and another co worker in the face the force was so strong it almost knocked me off my feet it started with minced garlic in my drinks or excessive salt and vinegar in my water but anyways I confronted Hr about it and everyone just had an excuse for her like oh that's just her sense of humor it got to the point where I actually believed them until the retaliation begun she was putting extreme work loads on me I was going into work late because I really didn't even want to come in at all after knowing she knew well Hr ended up switching me to a different location because she was not going to give up tormenting me but now I feel like she's still altering things to make my life difficult from the other location like my crazy schedule for one when I first started working with this location it was a set schedule which I loved but then they started playing the schedule changed games and days I thought I had off weren't actually my days off anymore and I would come into work day before same schedule as week before posted then when I thought I had my day off and took it the next day I get two write ups when they had just posted the new schedule the day of well I did recently just have a miscarriage and confide in my boss letting her know and I feel they suspended me because I'm a liability at this point so they did scheduling abuse until they could indeed fire me or write me up

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    Replies
    1. You need to get a lawyer before you are terminated. You are in need of legal advise now.

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  48. What to do if you report a co-worker being verbally abusive to anursing home patient. You warn them to stop it's not right next day they text you they're not going to change. You go report it two days later because you couldn't find a supervisor only to find you get written up for reporting it late. Even though you tried helping the patients

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  49. I reported an incident at work with a co-worker verbally abusive the elderly people at the nursing home I told her that her actions were wrong the following day I received text naming the peop she hates and how she is not going to change. Her verbal abuse towards them I reported it the following day. I just found out besides her suspension until further evidence I also was written up for not reporting it immediately. Was about to get terminated but I'm a good worker and great with people. I don't feel it's right when I tried helping the patients the director and supervisor should have seen signs it had to be housekeeping to have a heart. Now I have to stand in front of state board. I don't feel it's right. What should I do. I wish I didn't say a thing

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  50. I'm not sure how to comment about a complaint I have to HR for a issue with my Manager. I am under DR. care for an illness (my job has a copy of the DR's letter) I thought I could handle working just a few hours a day until I get well and get my strength back. I went to work and got deathly sick after 3 hours of working. I went to the Manager and told him I needed to leave. His comment was "You need to get this fixed!" I explained I had been to the DR 2 times in the past 7 days but was trying to be noble and come to work to help out. He then replied "If you have to leave then just leave!" I said Thank You Sir and clocked out. No other comments were made and he did not even acknowledge me when I was leaving. I felt so belittled and let down because they expect a person to work when sick! How do I approach HR because today I am filing a complaint again my manager just for his comments and attitude when I asked to leave. Thank you for reading and replying to this.

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  51. I was an employee at Google Fiber in Salt Lake City until a month ago. During my time there, I filed not one-but two sexual harassment claims against one of my fellow employees. Inappropriate language ensued throughout our work relationship. The first time I filed a complaint, they made our team participate in a sexual harassment presentation. My co-worker who I filed complaints against, immediately after the presentation suggested "His desire for sexual harassment increased after the training". Literally, verbatim what he said. I was furious. I filed AGAIN and apparently HR "talked" to him but nothing was done. No suspension, nothing. The company downsized and let me go along with 7 other employees a month ago. Every female on my team was let go, and now only males work there. Guess who also kept their job? Yep. Mr. Sexual Harassment himself. Is there any legal retribution that I can do even though I'm no longer part of the company? Unfortunately, the day of my termination, they locked me out of my corporate email account- where all the conversations and documentation of the sexual harassment claims were kept. Is there any way to salvage those? I want to have a lawyer look over and see if I have a case. I would love any feedback

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  52. I was sexually assaulted at work and he was fired/resigned they said tgey couldn't tell me if he was fired or not.. Anyways the guy is still allowed to attend company functions to me it is a big slap in the face i feel they have not taken it seriously enough i don't know what to do

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  53. I had a co-worker harassing and assaulting me at work for YEARS, on and off. I finally had enough and reported him to HR for making sexually-degrading comments about me in the workplace, for making sexually inappropriate gestures (acting out doing sexually-violent things to me, like a real creep), for threatening and abusive behavior (that included assault; he stabbed me in the ribs with a blunt object at one point). Another co-worker even filed a complaint about this individual calling me the c-word and overhearing this abusive co-worker telling me to commit suicide. HR did nothing. I've recently been in contact with the EEOC (within time constraints). The investigator I spoke to told me that, because my co-worker was not in a position of power and because he didn't harass any of the OTHER women we work with, the things he said and did are not being considered discriminatory. She recommended I contact another agency, but that I "leave out the sexual things" so that they wouldn't refer me back to the EEOC. (Wtf kind of broken system is this?)

    ... This is just freaking appalling.

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I appreciate your comments and general questions but this isn't the place to ask confidential legal questions. If you need an employee-side employment lawyer, try http://exchange.nela.org/findalawyer to locate one in your state.